red blue white green yellow purple & rainbow color

2008-11-22T07:48:00.000-08:00

its been a longggg longggggggg time. anyway, i've moved for quite some time already, so, bye bye to those old memories.

2008-07-10T04:49:00.000-07:00

1, 2...
1, 2, 3, 4!

You and I have got alot in common
We share all the same problems
Luck, love and life aren't on our side
I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time
Always the last one in a long line
Waiting for something to turn out right, right

I'm starting to fall in love
Its getting too much
Not often that I slip up
Its just my luck, yeah, yeah

Rain clouds are gathering in numbers
Just when I put away my jumper
Luck and love still aren't on my side
And I still refuse to be a skeptic
Cause I know how you could still correct this
Maybe this will be my lucky night, night

I'm starting to fall in love
Its getting too much
Its not often that I slip up
Its just my luck

Just my luck
Just my luck
Just my luck
Yeah, its just my luck
Just my luck
Just my luck
Just my luck
Something to turn out right
Just my luck
Just my luck
Just my luck
Waiting for something
Just my luck
Waiting...for something to turn out right, yeah!

I'm starting to fall in love
Its getting too much
Not often that I slip up
Its just my luck

Its just my luck
Luck....

hopefully things turn out right.

bye blogspot. maybe i'll visit again next time.

2008-07-01T06:11:00.001-07:00

2008-06-30T06:49:00.000-07:00

true true, got it right from a boy's mouth. - " its bullshit, don't ever believe in that. "

thanks yo, I needed a wake up call. Just that there's a problem. I need a wake up call every hour. It's good to have someone who knows about it too, and high-fives with you. Alright, I'm not gonna believe in that. Its just total bullshit. The serious kind. I'm not dumb yo. I needed to shake some sense out of me. And i've got it. Say bye to all.

School's been good, I'm happy! Gym today was SHIOK. We had alot of jumping and sprinting. Then we ran the long distance kind to end it all. Being anemic isn't fun though, i wished I was well. Then I can keep going at it for hours. Alright, and seeing those AUT people, I really can't wait for next year. Its a great thing to be happy. And I'm really happy that I'm happy now! It wasn't easy to break through you know, blah blah.

Right, Nationals, as in my event, is gonna be in 2 days time. Gosh, you can never know how excited and happy I am about it. Its my last shot at nationals, and ive always loved nationals cause you get to see friends from everywhere. Practically all four directions in singapore. And i know its gonna be so crowded, it only makes me even happier! There's this goal that I have too, its really a big thing on my mind, but Im not gonna get too ambitious lest i become careless.

Okay, I was just thinking about this yesterday. Maybe my mom and I could migrate to Australia and I would study and work there to ensure she gets a good life. It sucks to see her working so hard. I promise, I will bring her comfort and everything she has ever need just cause she's my mom. AND! I really wasn't kidding when I kept mentioning that I wanted to study in Harvard, Cambridge or Yale. Its like my dream, and I know how to get there. So, you might really see me in one of those schools a few years from now. Trust me. My childhood dream was to work as a lawyer you know. I don't mind brushing up on my language too, language is what I hell love! Or maybe I could study english literature in Cambridge. I hell love lit too! I used to write poems when I was young. And I had a tiny book in which I wrote in everyday. Then I would have 2 golden retrievers. That really was my dream life when I was still a child. Its still my dream right now. I would marry some caucasian. haha. And since I'm gonna brush up on english, I won't have to fear for any communication barriers.

I would be standing in front of shinyi for nats! I was damn excited and happy when I saw YHSS behind mine in the list. Not lihui, but still, someone I know! I would really call it fate baby, if its lihui. And damn, the swimmers won't be in class for these few days. It wouldn't be as fun yo. I threw away my timetable. Haha, I get through school with nothing in my bag. OH OH! and i'm happy about tmr! Cause its swimming's nats, and that means SJC is gonna be there. I was just helping with the name list with the com today, and goodness, I see so many SJC names in there. Yay, its gonna be held just right here in school, and I have no training, so you know what that means!

" Wanna talk about it honey? " that's real sweet. thanks.

2008-06-28T08:04:00.000-07:00

burnt myself when i drank boiling water which i thought was cold water. now my tongue can't really feel anything. haha, some stupid shit of mine again.

my back's been hurting everday, seriously. It aches, hurts and feels sore. No matter how I stretch or crack the bones, its still the same.

I just threw out four huge bags of clothes for the salvation army. The moral of this is not to buy so much.

GSS ends tomorrow. Wei-ming's birthday tmr!

2008-06-27T03:01:00.000-07:00

My eyesight's failing me lately. Even now I strain my eyes to read some girl's blog who has such a tiny font. She's Jodie's 'sister', btw.

Okay so, I took O's oral today. I didn't prepare myself, but the question was simple. Thank god. I kept pausing in between words though, and there's one word in the passage which the all of us kena-ed from it. And, the waiting room was damn cool. It had imacs, and obviously we had our itchy fingers all over them. Then we played with the ICs, by bending them till both ends touch. The fun part was after I had my turn. We had to wait in this soundproof music room till they allowed us to go, and we started messing around with the percussion in the room. We used whiteboard markers as drum sticks, plus some fists. Haha, I wonder how much those things cost. Also, around two days back, I met a group of ah-bengs on the road with abg and jods. Apparently, the last ah-beng wasn't really educated cause he took frogs for tadpoles. Then he went, " Hey, you wanna see some tadpoles? " and started grabbing his frogs from this plastic bag. Right, normally girls would just scream and run. But abg started yelling and scolding him which was truly funny. And jods got her middle fingers working. I was too freaked out by those slimy things so I could only manage some yays. But it was fucking funny i tell you. And we really had a damn fun day. Which before was some uncle riding on his bike shouting " Siao ah. " to us. Anyway, we were talking about the fake SHE thing today. And the three of us have plans on singing for campus superstar. Haha, and we already picked songs for our audition. In which are, Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star, London Bridge and Old Macdonalds. Maybe you could catch us on tv when it starts airing.

I lost almost every battle for dj max in class. holy shit.

Alright, school's been officially extended till module 6. Screw the person in charge. I just remembered how to do the triple f*ck thing anyway. And, almost everyone in class are traveling overseas. I wished there was some training camp for the whole month of july. Ohyeah, Nationals are next week. For swimming too! So maybe I can catch Sjc there. Its time to see how the farter's " I confirm win. " will come true anyway.

Next week's gonna be fun, with pool, please don't tell uncle koh

till then.

2008-06-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

Heard your story friend,

it came from long away.

Hope you are doing fine,

cause life is too short to waste.

Just two words for your ears to take,

let go when its your decision to make.

Zohan is good, its horny and corny. At first I didn't understand why it was rate NC16. Now I do. The paper ring I got today is spoilt by now. I have to thank SS lessons too, if not I wouldn't have understood what Zohan is about.

The Happening is not thrilling enough. Its quite mild, though I got some shocks during the movie. I think Lady in The Water is even more scary. Anyway, I think I've really watched almost every movie that's showing now except for those I can't get through for.

I love Melissa! I wished we could train side by side. And try to cheat by putting two targets together, or shooting 5 shots lesser. It's Sentosa tomorrow! I bet I will have damn alot of trouble waking up again. Those drowsy pills are really effective. I can even feel its effect on the next day. And I realised I hate small kids, with the exception of new-born babies cause they are so quiet. Ohyeah, there was this mfking boy who tried to tick me off a few weeks ago at the theme park.

I went : How do you get into the seat?

Mfking boy : Aiyo you don't know how? So stupid.

I went : Shut up.

Mfking boy : You tell me shut up? You then shut up.

What a bastard. Just like that annoying little girl I always see.

One last thing, there's something I want to do. I heard this from a friend, and it goes like this. Its the english essay writing exams. There's a topic on courage. Just write " This is courage. " and hand it up. Haha, they can't really fail you too.

2008-06-19T04:55:00.000-07:00

My flu is killing me, I hope it wouldn't drag till school reopens.

I trashed Yulin today, and I won Alex at 9 ball. Its sad to know though, that everyone wouldn't be playing much after school reopens.

School reopens again.

I tried archery again anyway, the target kept falling off. But it was great.

I had crocodile soup too. And crocodile meat.

2008-06-18T07:01:00.000-07:00

I want to become a youth team archer.

I want to become a youth team *.

I want to top my class.

I want to clean up my room.

I want to major in management.

I want to top what i have for shooting.

I want to top my class in AUT.

I want to volunteer to help out in Sjc after july.

I want to get a ncap license.

I want to join hometeamns and help out too.

I want to remember all my friends' birthdays.

I want to keep going during physical training.

I want to enjoy my school food.

I want to keep my hostel room clean.

I want to make my teachers, coaches happy with my performance.

I want to bring my grandparents out for a nice date.

I want to play pool with my cousin.

I want to do well for my o levels oral.

I want to play netball well.

I want to swim for long.

I want to know all the countries in the world.

I want to be able to get oil for my weapon.

I want to take care of my hamster well.

I want to be able to take it to the vet when its sick.

I want to keep my current phone scratchless.

I want to keep my macbook working as when it came.

I want to meet-up with my seniors and catch up with them.

I want to volunteer to do shelving at the national library.

I want to be able to wake up in the morning.

I want to shoot alongside my best shooting mates.

I want to share successes with those team mates.

I want to go genting this year again with Jodie.

I want to stay in the better hotel though.

I want to take the superman ride again.

I want to take the dragon ride during lunchtime and scream at those dining in kfc.

I want to know how to write all those chinese characters.

I want to know what i'm doing.

I want to play dj max with lihui till both our psp run out of batt.

I want to go rjc with germaine, but I can't.

I want to see crystal the cat again.

I want to play poker and win when someone puts out all in.

I want to learn all the tricks in 3 people bridge.

I want to know how to fix the aircon, computer, tv, flushing system.

I want to learn about the wonders of the world.

I want to know about the bermuda triangle.

I want to keep my ipod working till youth olympics.

I want to use my cracked phone during youth olympics.

I want to visit isabelle at her penthouse again.

I want to stay over at xiaowei's house again, and watch X-man with them.

I want to know how to cook dishes.

I want to have a rainbow shining in my room when life is so down.

I want Prissy to be happy and as funny as she is.

I want to stop drinking green tea and bubble tea.

I want to be up to my english teacher's expectations.

I want to ace Biology for all the tests.

I want to know how to use the mac system.

I want to play dota.

I want to meet this hongkong star.

I want to go abroad with my cousins.

I want to play tennis with jeffrey.

I want to stay in the east.

I want to make parkway parade my third home.

I want to run on taonan's track.

I want to see my father.

I want to talk to him.

I want to call him.

I want my parents to be happy.

I want to study fengshui.

I want to learn about architecture for my dad.

I want to make a grave for my hamsters who have passed away.

I want my grandpa to be able to know what i'm talking about.

I want to be disciplined.

I want to be well versed in chinese poetry.

I want to learn German, Spanish, Japanese, Malay, Tamil, Italian.

I want to be a grade 8 for piano.

I want to know how to play yesterday with my guitar.

I want to help out in the old folk's home with celesther.

I want to see and meet up with coach soo chyi.

I want to tell her everything that has happened.

I want to tell her i really missed her.

I want to do massage cause I really need to.

I want to stop flunking shoots, and keep my mindset right.

I want to go backpack traveling with my friends.

I want to win the ticket to go watch this year's olympics.

I want to set my life in the right path.

I want to have a good marriage.

I want to let my mother enjoy her life.

I want to realize my dreams.

I want to be all geared up for youth olympics, and not let the chance slip away.

I want to carry on to olympics after that, and to make history.

I want to make a life out of my life.

I want to be on time to play pool tomorrow morning.

That's all.

My resolutions for the next half of 2008 and onwards.

2008-06-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

I effing want a wild day. or maybe a wild week. till I have enough fun.

2008-06-14T07:32:00.003-07:00

me: for 5 days?

cec: no, 5 weeks.

me: wth! only if my competition can last for so long.

2008-06-14T02:28:00.000-07:00

haha, steamboat tonight. I love steamboat.

i feel like buying another set of ear piece. the new ones look beautiful!

haha, i did another complaint today.

the girl behind me kena.

alright, i wanna buy desperate housewives whole season.

and ohyeah, im gonna swim again next week. especially tanning.

I'm going to cdans too!

& archery, like finally.

well well, i thought i was gonna sleep through the whole shoot today. It's all quite a blur. I felt like i was dreaming.

2008-06-13T07:43:00.000-07:00

kongrui and I can totally hit it off yo! haha, I can't believe that i've found someone who loves the arcade and pool as much as I do! haha. I need to cut a nail. just one nail. haha, and ha, im gonna go play mahjong and pool for the whole day, next week.

some waiter played blackjack with me today. he kept losing. ah ha, kidding.

my wrists hurt. I need some metal piece to even out the edges of my macbook.

oh oh! i miss cogs.

and germaine needs a pigeon. but i only have a hamster.

holy shit! i'm hungry. I can't possibly have dinner so late, its slimming suicide.

alright, as all of you can see.

I'M HIGH.

2008-06-06T17:18:00.000-07:00

问世间情为何物，直教人生死相许。

我好希望能从着痛苦的声援爬出来。眼泪，都已哭干了。我不要再着样下去。我已经两天没吃东西

了。我求求你，放过我吧。伤和痛都会掩在心底，因为再多的语言都无法表达心碎的酸。虽说放

弃是一种美德但谁可曾尝过这放弃的滋味是何。

2008-06-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

2008-06-06T06:02:00.000-07:00

Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
Phantom ships, lost at sea
And one of them is mine

.....

Sorry didn't mean to call you but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak, couldn't even hide it
And so I surrendered, just to hear your voice.

.....

Don't know how many times I said I'm gonna live without you,
And maybe someone else is standing there beside you,
But there's something, baby you need to know.
That deep inside me, I feel like I'm dying. I have to see you,
It's all that I'm asking.

......

Cario mio, my world's become so empty. The days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the purest of pain.

......

Let it go

If you want me ~~girl~~, let me know

I am down, on my knees

I can't take it anymore.

I walked from Yishun to Khatib mrt today. I don't know what to say. I cried. From Yishun, all the way till home. Someone in the train offered me a full pack of tissue. I really can't take it. I have never been so heartbroken before. I have never been so sad before. How i hoped, some car would bang me down, and then, I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. This pain inside, is killing me. Haunting me, anywhere I go, whatever I do. I really hope it would set me free. I feel so heartbroken, so totally heartbroken, I rather be dead. Give me a drink, give me screwdriver, give me bloody mary, give me anything, that wouldnt make me sane. I hoped I was stupid, i hoped i was dumb, so i wouldn't know anything.

2008-06-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

SINGHUI IS 18. One less who can't buy alcohol.

This was how we started the trip off. The bus ride there wasn't very fun, and I was getting sick of playing dj max.

Oh he's finally smiling!

So at night after dinner, we went to play pool. The place was actually for 18s and above only. But the staff just motioned us in. There were alcohol there, cigarettes and all. And table soccer. We had some fun there, but the pool tables were pretty old and dirty.

You should look at her position. Like those kinda kung fu fighting position. aha.

She looks like she's from some magazine advertising for some jap food. Seriously.

Hazel has beautiful eyes. I'm mesmerized.

You know, i normally don't take photos like this.

Haha, that was how we got onto the bus through the pouring rain.

This KFC sucked. I swear. The service is freaking slow and the staff is freaking rude. Plus, we have ppl screaming their heads off on top of us every 5 mins.

Hey, i have 2 dogs.

Husband & Wife. Acting only.

OH, the affair!

Haha, compare the two pics.

I hope she doesn't get mad.
|

Wow, jodie sure has saloon effect hair.

Aquila looks funny. And look at how meng yong jumps. Its HILARIOUS.

This ride is freaking good. And i realised i could scream, really scream. Its also 360 degrees.

Jodie's hair is damn cool. We should cut it that way too.

BONUS PICTURE OF THE TRIP! :D He's actually our 2nd Campus Superstar Champion, oh well this picture really lifted my mood. Its so rare you see. And Hazel was saying, if we could catch Shawn around, which has such a low probability, we might see jersey 11 around. Ha, and it was very true!

I sucked at this. Totally. And the stupid guy in the picture so laughed at me. Plus, he didnt tell me where to aim and all, ass. But i was happy that i got 2 tight groupings. Ohyeah, they have electronic archery targets there too!

The trip was bad actually, for myself. Though i kept trying to do stupid stuffs to try to cheer myself up. I know, its just natural to feel so empty in life. I do feel upset, but I do do things to make things better. I don't give up just like that. I do make the first step.

2008-05-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

Who wouldn't speak of, pamper, spoil their love?

And to think that I have so much going on in my mind, its becoming such an internal struggle. I'm torn apart, into two halves, each telling me either. Inside me. Having to go through all the pain and sorrows everyday as well, and to take the dilemma inside me, tell me, what am i supposed to do? I've gone for counseling, something i totally avoid, and have thoughts against it since young. It only shows that I really want to help myself, I want to stop the whirl going inside my mind that's sucking every life out of me. For months, I have been torturing myself. Pretending to be oblivious to the easy way out. Also, to have to put my best foot out for shooting, struggle to do well, while knowing very well that I'm supposed to be on hiatus. For a break for my mind.

At the start of the year, I loathed going to Safra, and to think that training is placed before studies. Having to step into the range, passing through the swinging doors, breathing in air of target cards. They were all that I was trying to get away from. School wasn't very pleasant too, I often had to bury my face in my pillow at night, to be disguised as a sleeping person. Never have i stopped, to search for a way out. I tried to set differences aside, I tried to love it all again. Not that I don't love my joy and passion, but the feeling has been strongly contaminated by incidents of the past, in which i had never gotten free of.

Me myself, don't even have a clue on why I can't move on. It was a feeling i seriously couldn't shake. Even though it goes into hibernation sometimes, it will always be back, forcing me to have countless sleepless nights, and ever decreasing appetites. Cut out all the words on me being silly. Cut out all the words on me being childish. You'll never know how much some things mean to me, and how devastated i can get. You think I don't want to be the silly Irish man who laughs all day? You know how much i yearn for it. To be honest, I hate shooting, I absolutely hate it. So much that I can't find my interest for the sport anymore. I hate that shooting has brought me so much sorrows, hurt me time and time again, took my joy away, took my social life away, took my leisure time away. Now I realise, I was wrong. I shouldn't have stuck to shooting so much that I neglected everything else. In the end, what I've got, is just this. Stop saying that I'm too weak. Stop saying that what i hate is just safra and the association and everything else. I hate shooting alright, I despite my gun, I throw my equipment around, hoping it all will break. But yet, I can't let go of it. I know how much I used to love it, how much I used to spoil it. This love, just isn't there anymore. Its fading so much its becoming the background. I'm sure, there will be a way I can love it all again, and that's what that has been encouraging me to stay, forcing me to stay. There's no way I will be giving it all up just like that. At least for now, I need my time.

Just last year, I got struck by my greatest fears, facing it all alone, amidst of whispers, deceits, uncertainty, lies. Does anyone even know what my fear was? I have been facing life alone since young, growing with an imbalance. Bewildered about why I was different, having a little clue about it, and dismissing that thought. I had everything, but nothing in my heart, I felt so empty. The fact that you don't bother about how much i deem it as something very important, something dear to my heart, something I care about so much, it disappoints me utterly. Telling me to stay strong always, hey, everyone knows that. Besides words, there's nothing. These can't fill my heart up. Its not a solution. The next time, you forget all about it, & you ASSUME that i'm alright. Spending a little more time on it kills you isn't it? Where's the support I needed? Stop skipping all the parts and forgetting about it cause its troublesome.

Know something? Its the kind of 'comfort' and 'support' you give me that makes me want to give it all up. Since you don't pay much attention to the difficulties in shooting that I have, I feel even more depressed and the feeling of giving up only gets stronger.

2008-05-19T06:21:00.001-07:00

Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.

2008-05-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

i'm still young. it's my prime time to have fun.

don't deny me of my fun time.

cause there's no such thing as forever young.

and there's no such thing as forever disciplined in my dictionary.

i found my white headphones, something really worth being happy about.

& haha, can't wait for kl.

after kl i would wanna go out everyday too.

be it sentosa or jurong island or whatever.

mama's got a new mp3.

she's pretty cool huh.

my laptop's spoiling or sth, so its going to the hospital and that means byebye for some time.

i miss hammy.

maybe i'll get a chick for hammy.

oh haha, just kidding.

2008-05-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

lovefool ; The cardigans.

I'm high. Just high. I'm happy. Bio test and Geog test are all next week. I'm gonna score two As, watch me. I love this song, lovefool. My cousin used to play it through the night when i used to sleep in his room when i was very young. And it was always when my mom haven't got back from work. Well well, school is ending so soon, I've got no more time to waste! I've had better learn to enjoy having school only at 9, and having such comfortable free periods in the library. Anyway, tomorrow's tuesday, and it means a shot at love is out again! :DDD oh baby, i love tila tequila!

its a beautiful sunday, but where's the beautiful heart?

2008-05-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

haha, i pon training and sth else to head out with these guys. And, its LIHUI! :D I really miss lihui, shooting was and still is never the same without her. It sucks. And how much lihui can do to brighten up my day, its unimaginable. I know, what i wish for might not come true at all, but the bits and pieces of memories over the place is good enough already.

Also, Melanie & Rouying ! :D Another of my two best friends. Like since sec1 when i got to know them, I know there's always this someone there for me when i cry. Whenever I complain to them about the shit that happens with shooting, they will cheer me up, then bring me back on track again. Even though how much I want to quit nyt, or anything that has to do with ssa, seeing friends like them tell me the reasons for my leaving sjc, i know i can't just quit like that.

I have realised, for the past 2 years, my life totally evolved around shooting. And, as a result, i neglected many other important things, in which if i have the chance again, i wouldn't repeat it. Certainly, shooting brought me a huge amount of joy, but the misery it gives me now, is almost unbearable. For the years to come, I have no idea what would happen to me, I have no idea if shooting will become joyful again, I have no idea if i will leave halfway. There's no more try again, its only a shot at love. Love, shooting.

Ohyeah, What happened in Vegas is a all wonderful movie, haha, it makes me happy.

2008-05-10T09:04:00.000-07:00

I have something to complain about. And i will.

Regarding the ranking system,

my 3rd may trials score isn't there.

two other people's trials score for the exact same shoot is there.

So hence, the ranking system is not accurate. Blame it on negligence, or something else, I don't know. I know very well that I am not happy about it, and I have to write in already.

Can't anyone out there understand?

我真的觉得好无奈。

2008-05-08T05:06:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is my long awaited friday.

i am not going for training.

i am going out.

haha, this is stupid.

tmr im getting back my math major paper.

god bless me.

today is my dear mama's birthday.

i am gonna bring her out to have good food for her birthday.

i realised many important commitments i have, which had slipped from my mind.

i miss marine parade.

and parkway parade.

i hope the trg camp is gonna be confirmed.

okay.

haha, rachel ng has facebook. i miss rachel. and her jokes.

2008-05-05T06:16:00.000-07:00

i think i pissed my mom off. whoops.

I can't wait for june holidays! it's only 13 more school days :D

& i hope perak will be fun, seriously.

& even more seriously, i hope i get a okay room mate.

2008-05-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

Make it a....
Freakshow...a freakshow a freakshow
Make it a...
Freakshow..a freakshow..a freakshow

( it already is a freakshow. )

i think i gave those who were there listening to my phone call a really nice show.

and i think i gave those shooters in the range something to talk about as gossips.

i'm always doing this.

sobbing like mad, when people would be wondering why, cause i didn't screw up the shoot.

and when i do screw up, i laugh.

friends tell me i need a break from shooting,

i would hope so,

but still,

i know this is a crucial time.

to be honest,

I really am very upset.

that's all i have to say.

2008-05-02T08:29:00.000-07:00

sorry, i can't help it.

I want to quit shooting.

I think I will.

how to save a life

2008-05-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

I went out with Priscilla and Odelia today.

Haha, i missed them. We had a fun time, took photos, smiled for the cam, carried each other, ate alot together, walked around malls tgt. There's this jacket from topman that i fancy, and I'm planning on getting it tomorrow. ((:

We had loads of funny stuff while taking photos too, cause prissy's cam looks like those kind of toy camera you see. And alot of people thought we were making fun of them when we asked them to help us with the photo. There was even one who shot us a nasty look.

all the bites i have is irritating the shit hell out of me. it's very itchy, yes, that's obvious. but i have 5 of them tgt at one spot, and there's quite some diff spots. especially when i start scratching, it gets worse. the hostel seriously needs some cleaning. it's the second time already. I don't pay the school for hostel stay just to get bitten by some insects.

Tomorrow is the second trial for cyg. Boring. Alright, im off for some entertainment now, i hope they do cheer me up!

2008-05-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah.

I think,

2008 - Sec4, sports school.

2009 - AUT,singapore (1st year)

2010 - AUT,singapore (final year)

2011 - AUT, sports science degree, UK.

" - "

Somehow, i want this more and more. I want uk more and more. It's not that bad either, olympics 2012 is held there.

Besides, I like sports science, just that i'm worried on how far it can bring me.

I want to be a sports manager, just that i'm worried if it will even happen.

I want to be accomplished as that, just that i'm worried if it will even start.

2008-04-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

surely even the kindest man on earth would blow, when his morals and values are forced to the corner. and even to think me.

I've certainly been through better days, but today was taught. I would just hope that my lessons will come some time after another. I had one just not long ago. f sia. seriously.

after a long time? yes, so so so long.

2008-04-23T03:22:00.000-07:00

alright, im gonna tell you guys why i deleted this blog like months ago. so you had better listen up. i was so in a not good mental state of mind and i hated the trouble i always get into after blogging so i just hell deleted it. and then all the stuff i blogged about were really short and just the summary of my everyday feelings, there weren't any like how my life everyday was like which is what alot alot alot alot of people are doing.

I hate my laptop. There's something seriously wrong with safari, sometimes i can load websites sometimes i can't even do so. oh my god, it sure pissed me off. Well, just a while ago i was fuming, like seriously. I don't know what's the reason so don't ask me. And mind you, it's not pms. Pms is dumb and an excuse for girls to throw their temper around. So, if my laptop had started faster while i was still hot and mad, you guys would have the chance to read more interesting and strong language and obviously interesting gossips cause i'm a pretty crude girl sometimes but sorry, it just didn't happen today. now later on i still have to do some tedious edits to the layout of this blog cause nowdays you can't copy and paste blogskins from blogskins.com anymore which is so WTH?!!!

I'm sorry you know, for starting this again with such a bad post. But i don't know what happened to me. I'm just extremely unhappy, and i guess i suppressed this kinda feeling for a far too too too long time till its gonna break and that's why i always escape from school these days, unconsciously. I don't even know if im just making myself sick unconsciously. I'm sick of life, thoroughly, really thoroughly. Oh great now my page says " could not contact blogger.com ". screw you safari and the modem.

You know, since the start of the year I have studied hard for my subjects, I put in effort and I felt like a good student. ( now i feel like screaming ) and i always made myself work hard hard hard to maintain my marks, for english or whatever shit. Maybe it was stressful i dont know. But i know now that maybe this is the result of the whatever thing called stress. Oh well, i sure typed fast enough. My typing was never that good after i stopped MSNing seriously for everyday. And doing stupid things such as typing with my eyes closed with my primary school friends. WELL WELL, my mathematics major module is this friday. And i failed my module 3 with a real pathetic score of 30/100. Haha. It pretty funny actually. I hope i can pass my average for maths if i screw up the major module this friday and my previous modules for math was pretty good so argh, just pray hard. I really feel like screwing up this major module. I dont wanna take it anymore for god's sake.

Anyway, thank god i aced my combined humans so my average for this module is okay with my math score. THANK GOD, GOD I THANK YOU. THANK YOU. There's been some prank caller these days, and goodness! She is irritating, annoying and just use everything bad you can use to describe her. My mom called the police anyway cause i told her to, and i really can't wait to catch this bitch. Anyway, i had prank calls to my house since i lost my beloved cybershot phone, i really loved that phone, mind you. It all happened when i was just back in Singapore after the Bangkok Training Camp which was a really screwed up one for me. It was like as if i were living in hell for those two weeks. I hate it, let me tell you. I hated it. Hate it. Back to the bitch. Well apparently someone took my phone cause i left it in the cab when i was on my way to jodie's house with amanda. Haha, i cried once i realised i lost my phone. haha. crying, goodness. crying. And then Vanessa, Jodie and Manda started calling the cab company for a few hours but hardly anyone answered. They might as well not have the phone line. And i was still sitting inside what's that place called? Shit i can't remember. Oh its mos burger. Yes i sat there crying for 2 hours i guess. And i hardly ate anything cause it's hard to eat and cry at the same time. You see, when you cry, you have this shape your mouth makes and its hard for me to open my mouth to put the food in and chew. And i think cause there's tears coming out, you have less saliva to digest the food. hahahaha, i know that's crap.

And, haha. This is bad i know, to all those people who has their faces in my cybershot phone, i think those photos maybe misused by those assholes who took my phone. And i had photos fresh from Bangkok. I should have locked them, sorry. And all those messages i had in my phone, hahahaha, those are like red hot secrets yo. hahahaha. Okay this makes me remember the phone which i dropped into the toilet bowl. hahaha, i had super interesting messages in them which could be potential hot gossips but sorry i lost them cause my phone was flooded with toilet water. That time i stayed in the toilet cubicle for more than half an hour crying while looking at that phone. Haha.

(dinner now, wait. I'm coming back to talk about some more private things. ) itunes is irritating me.

okay im back now. tell you what. i just had a HUGE bowl of rice. perhaps two or three times more that what the school gives. I didn't want to finish it at all but my aunts and grandma would be yelling at me to eat more when they keep feeding me every hour. i feel pissed at that too. hello im trying to eat a normal share of food. i have been missing gym and speed&agility for so so so long already. and i just lost weight okay. goodness, someone just asked me if i were full or not.WTH WTH WTH WTH WTH. haha, mind you im bloated. and hey! i think i have the potential to be someone with bulimic cause i realised i know how to throw up deliberately after eating. I dont wanna sit down. I have just eaten.

Haha, i have been reading somebody's blog these days, and also last time. I think she's so cool till so hottt. hahahahaha, i sound so sick. i hope you wouldn't mind. okay, chaoxiang just sent me the invitation to blog on his fan club not long ago. hahaha, hey, i can be like this, as in blogging such things. hahahahaha, im crazy. now i feel like puking. and hey hey! if i were to blog, you know what i think i will blog?

things such as,

jonathan talked to jian huan today. (please call me kaiwen)

and things like, daniel shot then sat down for awhile.

hahahahahahahaha. Im crazy.

now i feel like crying.

it's seven now. I have stayed at home for the whole day today, it was boring, very very very boring and i tried to occupy myself in everyday but it sorta failed. the thing i hate most is to have nothing to do, no dates, no schedule all that. i absolutely hate it and am disgusted by it. Later, hear me. Later, i have to go back to school cause my MC is only till today, and then i have to bathe cause im so angry im sweating and then sleep early cause i wanna go to gym on thursday. and i am gonna wear the red gym shorts to sleep cause im lazy to change in the morning. hahaha, sorry for that. i haven't did lat pull down for so long, my arms are becoming flabby, i can feel it. and my core muscles, failing me already. i love core exercises, but side bridge sucks. and lunges, you know, the metal bar im carrying is so heavy that that time my knee nearly gave way. haha, so, and FRIDAY. sorry, no TGIF for me. I have 2.4 walk/run practice in the morning. Haven't ran for long. And nobody's running anymore cause they have finished Napfa test. Only left like Cecilia, Daniella, Sherman, and i dont know who lah.

I dont really dread 2.4 that much actually. im fine with it. but im feeling so uneasy and horrible. lessons are alright, not say i dread any of them. (wow, on tv now that guy is gonna rape the girl.) (oh he didnt manage to.) (oh she met her boyfriend already, good good, the boyfriend is good to her) (wow the boyfriend wanted to throw away one billion for the girl, what a sacrifice. so hard to be seen these days.) haha. okay. so what is the problem with me. i'm like so stressed. haha. i can kill an animal now. i'm so stressed till i am like that girl who went to uni at the age of 15 and got so hell stressed up. now i feel sleepy. okay, i feel like sleeping. (tsk, my phone never rings) alright, im yawning. bye.